A few years ago I sat in a room with a young Mom who was raised Christian and stayed close to Christ throughout her college years at Point Loma (Christian College) and into her marriage. "You're rare" I told her knowing general statistics apparently show the same high percentages of sexual activity among Christians kids as in the secular population.
Recently a friend shared her conversation with her daughter a few years back first explaining that, "In the first year at Christian college she signed a pledge with her Christian boyfriend to abstain from sex, drugs, and alcohol."
Then she found out her daughter had broken that pledge while she was home on her summer break.
“I don’t want to quit sleeping with him” she said.
“You signed a pledge between you and God," my friend, confronted her. "I find it very troubling that you could treat it so lightly. It scares me for you.”
Her daughter barely winced.
"Dad and I are not paying 25,000 year for you to go to a Christian college."
She had earned a millennium scholarship to a secular university but chose the Christian school. Now her mom, my friend said, “You need to go to a secular school—you look like a secular person.”
Her daughter blinked.
"You're at a crossroads in your life," she explained to her.
“At nineteen you’re gifted and bright. I feel no qualms about sending you out into the world making your own choices.'' Her expression remained.
"You can no longer live under our roof while we are paying for everything if you choose another crossroad." Her daughter was quiet.
"I appreciate your honesty in being really up front. I admire that you are taking a stand either way."
They called the boyfriend's parents and set up a meeting with all of them, both sets of parents and both kids. My friend stated, "Initially they denied their son could have had this behavior before, being raised in an upstanding Christian home and school. That day they found out differently. Their daughter was not the first he had slept with."
She laughed recalling her husband's parting comments, "I cannot guarantee if your son shows up on our doorstep…he’ll be safe.”
The daughter decided to honor her pledge and return to the college, where she graduated, and is now a newlywed.
When I grew up in a single parent home (the only one of all our friend's imagine that), I just knew my Mom never had a man overnight. She went to church every week and we did too. I knew she told me "If you ever get pregnant..." it was a threat and there was no option. It scared me because I felt very responsible for my mom and how it would affect her. We helped with household duties without allowance and I started babysitting at eleven to buy clothes and have choice to my wardrobe. Still half went in the bank...for college.
I am proud of my friend for the way she brought her daughter to accountability. And I am proud of my mom how she created an example and talked about standards of morality. I stood in the Care Unit at our University hospital (not a few years ago) and listened to doctors discuss the need for teenagers to understand and receive contraception because they just can't control themselves, "they're teenagers."
I disagreed. As Christians our God defines His creation, no matter what the culture or temptations. He saved us and called us with a holy calling; our bodies are His temple. As our Heavenly parent, I love the vote of trust he gives us-- we can control our selves absolutely with Him in our lives at any age. He smiles at our youth and at any adult, whether they've lived as singles or now as single again...and exercise restraint in any area just as I used to smile at my students while handing out rewards at the end of the day in elementary school --animal cards that said underneath, "I can manage myself."
Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity. Learn to appreciate and give dignity to your body, not abusing it, as is so common among those who know nothing of God. 1 Thess 4:3-5