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  • Writer's pictureDee Aspin

Speedboat, Dating with Integrity ~ Drawing the Lines of Respect

No matter the past misconceptions or mistakes, when you give your life to Jesus, He gives you the power and wisdom to honor your body by staying sexually pure until marriage. It is a gift to your future mate, as well as an act of obedience to the Lord, as Lord of your life. As you initiate self-control and overcome temptation through God’s strength as a single, you will build confidence in your ability to remain faithful in your marriage.

It is God’s will you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. (I Thes 4:3, 4)

Drawing the Lines of Respect

Lines of respect and boundaries, are drawn during dating…and carry over into marriage.

  • Love chooses to do the highest and best for another’s lasting good.

  • Healthy relationships require emotional maturity & self-control.

God designed relationships to glide at the speed of rowboats so a team rhythm could develop able to survive the storms of life. In adult relationships the foundation of trust is built on the confidence each desires to honor God and each other.

Our bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit. Sex is spiritual.

That is why I say to run from sex sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this sin it is against your own body. Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God, because He owns it. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Living Bible)

Sex is a gift to Reserve for our true love and Preserve within marriage with our faithful one.

  • God created sex as a bond for a lifetime.

“Haven’t you read, “he (Jesus) replied. “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Matthew 19:5-6

Expressing Affection…an expression of fondness and care.

Think how easily children take your hand or give a hug. Or a pet nuzzles against you.

“How far can we go?” A vibrant discussion on celibacy followed the speaker at a Christian singles conference.

One person answered, “I figure anything I would feel good about if Jesus were standing there. He sees anyway.”

Another young professional shared what had worked for her since adolescence. “The body still responds the same so… I have just always used the same Camp Rule I did as a teen camp counselor...Keep your clothes on. Boy’s hands don’t go where the girls’ bathing suit is, and girl’s hands don’t go where the boy’s bathing suit is.”

A woman relayed, "I'm direct about my boundaries. I just say, 'My body is my ballpark and I make the rules.'"

A man stated, "I try to get to know someone. I don't like to kiss for a couple months so my emotions don't get clouded."

  • Sex is like a firecracker~ Ignited feelings can turn sexual, like a firecracker which burns faster toward the fuel case. We must slow the intensity.

  • The law of diminishing returns ~the more we do, the more we want. “There is a time to refrain from embracing.” ( Ecc 3:5b)

  • Time-outs~ Couples find ways to honor their commitment and avoid extended time alone. Stretching periods between connecting, double-dating, group activities, bucket lists, serving together in ministry.

A Christian sister shared,”My boyfriend leaves my apartment after we watch a movie. He doesn’t like to stay past midnight…to avoid temptation.”

**Is there any situation you relate to now and can talk to Jesus about prayerfully? What is He saying to you? Is there a need for a conversation with the person you're dating?

We learn a lot about ourselves and others in how they handle temptation. Sexual purity by a single believer is an indicator of their commitment to Christ.

Blessed is the man who endures temptation, for when he is tried he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to them that love Him. James 1:12 KJV

For further study, see James 1:12-16....

(Next blog of Speedboat Series: The Truth about Sex)

Copyright © 2018 DeeAspin sketches by Erin Bambery-Veliquette

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