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  • Writer's pictureDee Aspin

The Speedboat - Dating with Integrity vs. Shortcut to Sex

In-FAST-uation = the power of temptation, excitement and pleasure

Moses chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time (Hebrews 10:25 NIV)

A smooth, shiny speedboat lulls docked in the harbor ready to reach the deep…in seconds. A sly seaman beckons tense couples to discard the long row ahead, and slip off into the rush of immediate gratification…minus the Captain of their Salvation.

Forget the rowboat—Let’s climb into the Speedboat. Speedboats are great if you want intensity, the thrill of going fast—but speedboats need fuel to move forward. They can run out of gas quickly.

Relationship boats depend on the skill of the oarsmen and communication to propel forward. People who have the skills to communicate, develop the perseverance to work together and adapt to the extreme adventure of difficult challenges in life and love.

A friend stated, “When I was young if things got crazy and we would start arguing, I would just kiss my boyfriend really hard. It would distract him, and the problem would go away for a while.”

• Sex is powerful and created by God as a beautiful expression of faithful love and intimacy reserved for marriage, even though the temptation exists

• Outside of marriage, sex is a speedboat. For some, it is a comfortable delusion to skip the hard work of rowing. Far from shore, if the boat runs out of fuel—you have to row the boat. God is not the pilot. The sensual smokescreen down, it may be a shock when we face each other in deep water—the boat is vulnerable to changing weather conditions and an unprepared crew.

The Decision to reserve the gift of intimacy for your mate is made before the date.

Once I boarded a sailboat in the Santa Cruz harbor with a good friend. We had been invited for a sail around the bay. We cautiously stepped down rickety steps into a knotty pine cabin, and a sign greeted us below deck. “On this vessel, all marriages are conducted by the captain and limited to the duration of the voyage.” I looked at my friend and whispered, “Let’s get out of here.”

Putting the past behind you, your decision now will plant seeds for a new future and reap benefits. As you initiate self-control and overcome temptation through God’s strength as a single, you will build confidence in your ability to remain faithful in your marriage.

A newlywed shared a memory of the second date with her husband. “As the evening drew to a close we both lingered by his car. I didn’t want him to kiss me and felt the urge to speak…’I want to honor God in our relationship. I want purity. I have never had that, and it is what I feel God is calling me to

’I thought after I shared my conviction it would be over.”

“He smiled and sounded relieved, ‘I want that too.’”

You are gifting your future mate with the exclusive privilege of knowing you as others cannot by reserving yourself to be cherished by a true love.

It is God’s will you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and in this matter no one should wrong his brother (sister) or take advantage of him (her). (I Thessalonians 4:3, 4)

God's manual for relationships, the Bible, is loaded with tools for interpersonal relationships as God intended. From the wisdom of Proverbs in the Old Testament to Jesus’s truth and insights in the New Testament, we are given an invitation to believe and receive His Spirit and become born-again children of God (John 3:7)...loved, forgiven and free. We are encouraged to love others wisely and unselfishly.

• The will to follow Jesus, and draw upon His strength to live as He intended in our relationships, is possible as we trust and obey Him. We can trust He knows us because He loves us and made us. Romance was His idea since He created man and woman, Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden.

• The Biblical actions of love described in 1 Corinthians 13:7-10 are—patience, kindness, believing others have good intentions (not suspicious) not jealous, boastful or easily irritated, not keeping record of wrongs, able to hope and believe the best in someone, bear and endure their struggles…as we rely on God’s infinite resource, not ourselves.

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